In this catastrophic world of evil, dentists, and other dustbin-shaped utensils, I have come to a conclusion that life is very completely not blue like it used to be. Take, for example, the famous comedy horror audio play of 'Granny of the Wet Snail'. In this awfully sublime and slightly acidic-tasting story, the protagonist Joe counters many psychologically disturbed icebergs on his electric scooter, but that's not all the problem is. Somewhere, lurking deep inside the dark, damp pipes of the toilet inside Gregory Martin's house in a small, peaceful village, is the most terrifying monster of all. The Ubisedoft. This incredibly yellow beast that lurks inside the dishwashers of house that have a cat called Tim, has round its neck the key that can be used to scratch the paint of the wall of the Houses of Parliament revealing a twelve-letter code underneath the paintwork that can be used to unlock a door into the side of a small, long-forgotten brick building that was once used by a gardener called Andrew that contains a key to a padlock that is on a large box in a forest in Romania that has a piece of paper inside which is the code to a safe in Switzerland that contains several different cheeses, and the dots on those cheeses are Morse code telling the opener to travel to Moscow and find an old woman who would never be seen wearing pink as her dead husband is blind and she shall tell the geographical coordinates of the prison cell, that is hidden deep inside the ocean floor, somewhere in the Indian Ocean, where the title character, the GRANNY OF THE WET SNAIL is locked up, seeking revenge against some red headed girl called Sapphire.
This highly disturbing play gives an example of why the world is less blue than it used to be. I hope you shall listen to this CD, not available anywhere legal or that has a Chinese owner. Thank you.
