Yoo can bye ay pee ess too for too penees!
Yoo can bye a pee see for 1 penie!
Yo can bye anne exbox freesiksti for only free kwid!
Friday, 21 December 2007
Saturday, 24 November 2007
cheeeeeese!!!
The technical substancre of bird food tends to contain traces of various atoms from dustbins containing game consles. Bin bags are another good form of the planet Jupiter.
Seroius notice. This is noncence and should not be belived
Seroius notice. This is noncence and should not be belived
Friday, 3 August 2007
How to edit a shopping trolley with flu
1. Ogres don't hurt a bit.
2. If it eats you, eat it back.
3. Nocturnal robots haven't any cheese- this is relevant.
4. Where's the toilet?
5. Ha ha ha ha not funny.
6. I think my puppy has dissolved.
7. Oh.
8. Ecce homo! (Spoken by 'Tinky Winky' in 'Genesis 34:14 Verse 4')
9. Choice comedic effect, e.g. caterpillar dung, Harry Potter's left sock.
10. The fifth moon of Jupiter is called Sharon. It's made of Velcro, and has 3 eyes and 5 noses. It was born in Paris, where it started learning to sell fishfingers for a job. After it was fire, it donated its big toenails to Comic Relief. Then it died, at a young age of 384 and a half. Poor thing.
2. If it eats you, eat it back.
3. Nocturnal robots haven't any cheese- this is relevant.
4. Where's the toilet?
5. Ha ha ha ha not funny.
6. I think my puppy has dissolved.
7. Oh.
8. Ecce homo! (Spoken by 'Tinky Winky' in 'Genesis 34:14 Verse 4')
9. Choice comedic effect, e.g. caterpillar dung, Harry Potter's left sock.
10. The fifth moon of Jupiter is called Sharon. It's made of Velcro, and has 3 eyes and 5 noses. It was born in Paris, where it started learning to sell fishfingers for a job. After it was fire, it donated its big toenails to Comic Relief. Then it died, at a young age of 384 and a half. Poor thing.
Thursday, 2 August 2007
Sunday, 22 July 2007
HahahachickenhahahaJamiehahahachairhahahaarmadillohahahaDVDplayerhahahavirushahahaPringleshahahasockshahahahomehahahatoothpastehahahasugarpaperhahahaTeletubbiehahahafirehahahatoasterhahahalaughhahahaBritanniahahahaworldhahahabasketballhahahacalculushahahastickershahahariverhahaharandomguyfromDenmarkhahahaskeletonhahahahallowshahahayellowhahahapeacockhahahaenginehahahahelphahahaChinahahahaJulyhahaha. Cho.
P. Diddy's Pocket Crosswords
1. Percy the Fire Engines is now on sale as a full shield.
2. Ooh.
3. Werewolves aren't relevant.
4. Cheesy Bubbles- the Movie has now been renamed Moggle Pics.
5. Werewolves are very relevant indeed.
Scene 4: (Sammy is in the garage)
Sammy: Oi!
Gerald: Hey!
Chapter 93: Dumbledore walked up the cold stone steps to the leopard restaurant. He had no idea that Bilbo Baggins was lying in wait for him, covered in sawdust and baked beans.
Yo! At least, that's what the pickles said.
2. Ooh.
3. Werewolves aren't relevant.
4. Cheesy Bubbles- the Movie has now been renamed Moggle Pics.
5. Werewolves are very relevant indeed.
Scene 4: (Sammy is in the garage)
Sammy: Oi!
Gerald: Hey!
Chapter 93: Dumbledore walked up the cold stone steps to the leopard restaurant. He had no idea that Bilbo Baggins was lying in wait for him, covered in sawdust and baked beans.
Yo! At least, that's what the pickles said.
Monday, 2 July 2007
The wishing well is translucent
1. Wow.
2. The elephant couldn't fit in the Smarties tube, so he became a fishmonger.
3. The postman fell over.
4. RS- Road Shark.
5. Spies love to eat dead lobsters, especially when they're dead.
6. The duck loved hippopotomonstrosesquippedalianism, so he cried "I've got the flu!"
7. See step 495.
495. Never eat the divine vacuum cleaner or you will perish by fire and water and biscuit crumbs/
The empire of caterpillars
Yo.
When the elevator dies, the field will rise, and the army general will say 'Fire at Will!'. Poor Will.
Yo.
Yo.
Yo.
Yo.
TNT- Trigonometrical Nitrogen Toys
The elephant was nervous. It was the seventeenth day out for the robo-tube 4000.
1. D'oh.
2. Double d'oh.
3. The aeroplane jumped off the cliff sadly.
4. When the acrostic poem maker exploded, the candlesticks all snapped.
Sunday, 1 July 2007
Jonglenese Phrasebook
Hello- Oi!
Goodbye- Push off!
My name is...- I am the Mighty and Most Honourable...
What's your name?- Who are you supposed to be?
Where am I?- Oi, mate, gimme a map!
Please- I'll kill you if you don't do it.
Sorry- Whatever
Thank you- That's nice mate, now push off!
I like...- Gimme some...
Do you like...- You can't have it, ha ha ha!
Do you speak English?- Oi, d'you speak proper language?
Goodbye- Push off!
My name is...- I am the Mighty and Most Honourable...
What's your name?- Who are you supposed to be?
Where am I?- Oi, mate, gimme a map!
Please- I'll kill you if you don't do it.
Sorry- Whatever
Thank you- That's nice mate, now push off!
I like...- Gimme some...
Do you like...- You can't have it, ha ha ha!
Do you speak English?- Oi, d'you speak proper language?
Monopoly- the official car crash situation
Chapter 49: I have no clue of the people. They wander, turned to stone in the darkness of Davy Jones' Locker. Boo-hoo-hoo! What? It wasn't a cheesecake after all! Comic Relief was attacked by a burger. They fell off the bridge into the river. Did you know that socks are magnetic? Roman diamond thief states:
1. When 2+5=4, it's time to go and buy some soil.
2. Implant tree into hospital roof.
3. Heat mug of toast to 50,000ºC.
4. Stand on hands (either yours or someone else's) for 36 minutes while playing the violin.
1. When 2+5=4, it's time to go and buy some soil.
2. Implant tree into hospital roof.
3. Heat mug of toast to 50,000ºC.
4. Stand on hands (either yours or someone else's) for 36 minutes while playing the violin.
Saturday, 30 June 2007
Fire Brigade Duties
"Hey!" screamed Herry. "Eat my apple juice!"
"I'm trying, boss!" mumbled Jerry. They were standing on a building with a penguin.
"Squeak!" said the penguin.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" screamed Herry. He died, and Jerry and the penguin got married and lived happily ever... not! Jerry died of food poisoning, and the penguin was hung for treason after killing the Queen. They had three sons, Ollie, Bob, and Chris, but Ollie was burned at the stake by a lobster, Chris drowned trying to brush his teeth, and Bob had seventeen sons before he was murdered by a reincarnation of Henry VIII. The sons were: Bobby, Charlie, Alex, David, Peter, Richard, Julian, Jack, William, Samuel, Rob, Emilius, Henry, Jerry, Michael, Andrew, and John O'Bobby Cristiano Wolfgang Wozza Muff. Bobby had his head cut off by a fox that he nearly ran over, Charlie was executed by a Bionicle, Alex tripped over playing football, David watched too much TV so he exploded, Peter was blown up by terrorists, Richard died of a heart attack on Halloween, Julian was shot in the head by Father Christmas, Jack did of boredom after all his possessions were pushed off a cliff in a shopping trolley, William was forced to stay with his Great Aunt Grizelda who was a cannibal and ate him, Samuel fell off a cliff into the sea, Rob was poisoned by a Government poisoner, Emilius went to war in Iraq and got blasted to bits by a nuclear bomb, Henry's brain exploded during a Maths lesson, Jerry went to stay with a scientist and accidentally got transported back in time and got eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex, Michael fell down the stairs and had serious brain damage, Andrew's bottom was mistaken for a dartboard in the World Darts Championships, and John O'Bobby Cristiano Wolfgang Wozza Muff died of old age.
The End!
"I'm trying, boss!" mumbled Jerry. They were standing on a building with a penguin.
"Squeak!" said the penguin.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" screamed Herry. He died, and Jerry and the penguin got married and lived happily ever... not! Jerry died of food poisoning, and the penguin was hung for treason after killing the Queen. They had three sons, Ollie, Bob, and Chris, but Ollie was burned at the stake by a lobster, Chris drowned trying to brush his teeth, and Bob had seventeen sons before he was murdered by a reincarnation of Henry VIII. The sons were: Bobby, Charlie, Alex, David, Peter, Richard, Julian, Jack, William, Samuel, Rob, Emilius, Henry, Jerry, Michael, Andrew, and John O'Bobby Cristiano Wolfgang Wozza Muff. Bobby had his head cut off by a fox that he nearly ran over, Charlie was executed by a Bionicle, Alex tripped over playing football, David watched too much TV so he exploded, Peter was blown up by terrorists, Richard died of a heart attack on Halloween, Julian was shot in the head by Father Christmas, Jack did of boredom after all his possessions were pushed off a cliff in a shopping trolley, William was forced to stay with his Great Aunt Grizelda who was a cannibal and ate him, Samuel fell off a cliff into the sea, Rob was poisoned by a Government poisoner, Emilius went to war in Iraq and got blasted to bits by a nuclear bomb, Henry's brain exploded during a Maths lesson, Jerry went to stay with a scientist and accidentally got transported back in time and got eaten by a Tyrannosaurus Rex, Michael fell down the stairs and had serious brain damage, Andrew's bottom was mistaken for a dartboard in the World Darts Championships, and John O'Bobby Cristiano Wolfgang Wozza Muff died of old age.
The End!
How to Speak Japanese
1. Add pasta, a T-shirt, and a pencil together in a bowl.
2. Stir thoroughly with an ice-cream scoop.
3. Hang on the washing line to dry.
4. Build a large bomb shelter.
5. Fill the bomb shelter with cake.
6. Take the mixture off the washing line and take it to the hairdresser's.
7. Tell the hairdressers to give it a Mohican hairstyle.
8. Shave it.
9. Give it to a cat to play with it for a few days.
10. Eat it.
11. Eat the bomb shelter.
12. Hire a Chinese teacher for 3 years.
13. Fire the Chinese teacher for not teaching you Japanese.
15. Hire a Japanese teacher for 3 years.
Well done! You have successfully learnt Japanese!
2. Stir thoroughly with an ice-cream scoop.
3. Hang on the washing line to dry.
4. Build a large bomb shelter.
5. Fill the bomb shelter with cake.
6. Take the mixture off the washing line and take it to the hairdresser's.
7. Tell the hairdressers to give it a Mohican hairstyle.
8. Shave it.
9. Give it to a cat to play with it for a few days.
10. Eat it.
11. Eat the bomb shelter.
12. Hire a Chinese teacher for 3 years.
13. Fire the Chinese teacher for not teaching you Japanese.
15. Hire a Japanese teacher for 3 years.
Well done! You have successfully learnt Japanese!
Friday, 29 June 2007
2+15=295 as the duck dances
Ho ho ho! Christmas isn't tomorrow, so everybody eat! "Why not?" asked the lawnmower. "Because the steak was on holiday at the time!" roared the chickadee. "OK, I've changed my mind," said Caecilius. "I will eat your socks for you!"
Oh dear. To call the emergency procedures,
1. Call 01223 106666 for a vivid description of your local bathtub.
2. Eat 25 gallons of pickled boar.
3. Go dancing with a washing machine at 11:39 at night.
4. Wake up in the morning and fall out of bed.
5. Go to the post office to buy some stamps, but stick them on the postman instead.
Oh dear. To call the emergency procedures,
1. Call 01223 106666 for a vivid description of your local bathtub.
2. Eat 25 gallons of pickled boar.
3. Go dancing with a washing machine at 11:39 at night.
4. Wake up in the morning and fall out of bed.
5. Go to the post office to buy some stamps, but stick them on the postman instead.
Spud cupboard
1.Toy cars neutralise orage juice with the windscreen
2. I have no idea wahat 48 is.
48. Congratulations! You have finshed the challenge!
16. Hang DVDs on the washing line if bored.
24. To place the stamp on the letter, call:64586457584245656556419752158452144541450326262 to recive your free membership pack with further detals of how to do this. Member ship pack will come in the next 2 months
Real Note: This is all nosense. It's just funny.
2. I have no idea wahat 48 is.
48. Congratulations! You have finshed the challenge!
16. Hang DVDs on the washing line if bored.
24. To place the stamp on the letter, call:64586457584245656556419752158452144541450326262 to recive your free membership pack with further detals of how to do this. Member ship pack will come in the next 2 months
Real Note: This is all nosense. It's just funny.
Thursday, 28 June 2007
Henry Jenkins- the play
Chicken- Hey, Joey!
Dog- Boo!
The people watching- Hi-yah!
Whenever Lord Voldemort scores a goal, I hide in the toilet. He was dead in a flash. "Oh no, my printer's not biting!" shouted the headmaster, smiling nastily. "I think I have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicavolcanoniosis!" said the duck.
Wow.
Dog- Boo!
The people watching- Hi-yah!
Whenever Lord Voldemort scores a goal, I hide in the toilet. He was dead in a flash. "Oh no, my printer's not biting!" shouted the headmaster, smiling nastily. "I think I have pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicavolcanoniosis!" said the duck.
Wow.
Henry Jenkins
Who loves History?
A peck above the other morons, that's what I say, eh? Oh yeah, we won, oh yeah, we won, woo hoo.
A peck above the other morons, that's what I say, eh? Oh yeah, we won, oh yeah, we won, woo hoo.
Jokes+pickles
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Joe.
Joe who?
Jerry.
Why did the polar bear dance with the plane?
Because they were evil and the candle had nearly gone.
How many golfing idiots are there in a pack of diamonds?
723.
Why couldn't Andy Murray eat the sardines?
They were photo albums in disguise.
Who's there?
Joe.
Joe who?
Jerry.
Why did the polar bear dance with the plane?
Because they were evil and the candle had nearly gone.
How many golfing idiots are there in a pack of diamonds?
723.
Why couldn't Andy Murray eat the sardines?
They were photo albums in disguise.
Wednesday, 27 June 2007
Chav Lawnmowers
1. Cheese.
2. The banana was crying, so the jaguar gave it a racing car.
3. To insert credit card, press the 'monkey' button and call 01223 487487487 for further accusations.
Chapter 4926: I do not understand the formula of the dead cuckoo but I will try to. "Go away!" cried the milkman. The evil big thing cackled sillily. Then the snail expired in the steam room. "What?" said Caecilius. "I won't eat your socks for you, thank you very much!"
2. The banana was crying, so the jaguar gave it a racing car.
3. To insert credit card, press the 'monkey' button and call 01223 487487487 for further accusations.
Chapter 4926: I do not understand the formula of the dead cuckoo but I will try to. "Go away!" cried the milkman. The evil big thing cackled sillily. Then the snail expired in the steam room. "What?" said Caecilius. "I won't eat your socks for you, thank you very much!"
Tuesday, 26 June 2007
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