Ho ho ho! Christmas isn't tomorrow, so everybody eat! "Why not?" asked the lawnmower. "Because the steak was on holiday at the time!" roared the chickadee. "OK, I've changed my mind," said Caecilius. "I will eat your socks for you!"
Oh dear. To call the emergency procedures,
1. Call 01223 106666 for a vivid description of your local bathtub.
2. Eat 25 gallons of pickled boar.
3. Go dancing with a washing machine at 11:39 at night.
4. Wake up in the morning and fall out of bed.
5. Go to the post office to buy some stamps, but stick them on the postman instead.
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