How to Speak Japanese

1. Add pasta, a T-shirt, and a pencil together in a bowl.
2. Stir thoroughly with an ice-cream scoop.
3. Hang on the washing line to dry.
4. Build a large bomb shelter.
5. Fill the bomb shelter with cake.
6. Take the mixture off the washing line and take it to the hairdresser's.
7. Tell the hairdressers to give it a Mohican hairstyle.
8. Shave it.
9. Give it to a cat to play with it for a few days.
10. Eat it.
11. Eat the bomb shelter.
12. Hire a Chinese teacher for 3 years.
13. Fire the Chinese teacher for not teaching you Japanese.
15. Hire a Japanese teacher for 3 years.
Well done! You have successfully learnt Japanese!